I consider myself a compassionate person, but when someone hurts my feelings I tend to move into victim mode rather than an objective, empowered space. A helpful reminder phrase that provides perspective when this happens is, “Hurt people hurt people.” The recipient of someone’s hurtful actions is simply a convenient stand-in for that someone’s pain outlet. It doesn’t necessarily matter to the “painmaker” who the recipient is; a person full of hurt and pain needs to throw it around in order to feel better. I’m not suggesting to be a passive recipient. Rather, ground yourself, know that it’s not about you, and respond from a high-frequency space of love and compassion. A high frequency is disarming and like instant armor against low-frequency actions. People can’t hang with a frequency different than their own.

One thing to note and remember—approaching life from a high-frequency perspective of love and compassion can be the action of standing up for yourself. Be discerning. Choose love and compassion for you, which may mean getting out of a hurtful relationship, saying no, or kindly stepping away.